The Finances of Widowhood—Plus the Best Thing to Say to a Grieving Widow
September 6, 2018
THERE ARE 20 MILLION WIDOWS and widowers in the U.S. today—with 1.4 million joining their ranks every year, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Yet the majority of couples aren’t prepared for this devastating loss.
“Most widows and widowers—78%—describe the loss of their spouse as the single most difficult and overwhelming life experience,” says Maddy Dychtwald, co-founder of Age Wave, which recently partnered with Merrill Lynch to conduct research on widowhood and how it can affect the surviving spouse’s life and finances.
It’s always difficult to find the right words to comfort grieving friends. According to the research, one of the most helpful things you can say is, “You are strong enough to handle this.” The least helpful: “Time heals all wounds.”
The research found that those who plan ahead financially for the loss of a spouse are much better able to handle grief. But a full 53% of the 2000 widows and widowers surveyed said they had no plan in place for what to do if one of them died.
The top 3 financial challenges of widowhood: becoming the sole financial decision maker (according to 69%), adjusting to a loss in income (67%), and navigating the maze of financial and legal paperwork that follows the loss of a spouse (66%).
On a positive note: a full 77% of widows and widowers surveyed said “they found courage they never thought they had” as they transitioned to a life on their own. And 74% said they now spend more time with their families after becoming widowed.
Words of comfort: It’s always difficult to find the right words to comfort grieving friends. According to the widows and widowers surveyed, one of the most helpful things you can say is, “You are strong enough to handle this.” The least helpful: “Time heals all wounds.” Virtually all agree that when comforting someone in mourning, your actions are more important than words—85% suggest that you just let your grieving friends know that you are there for them if they want to talk.
Download and print: Our “Before” checklist, “Plan Ahead to Help Your Spouse Manage Loss," can help you and your spouse create a solid foundation for coping with the financial challenges of widowhood.
Save and share: Our “After” checklist, “A Practical Guide for Moving Forward Alone,” offers useful action steps for recent widows and widowers you may know.
To learn more about what you can do to plan ahead, read "Widowhood: The Loss Couples Rarely Plan for — And Should.” And check out "Planning for Life After Widowhood: A Guide to Loss and Finances."
